Friday, October 21, 2016

Journal Entry One: Day Zero

So, this is just an idea I am kinda playing with.  It is still kinda in the experiment phase so please leave any feedback you may have in the comments.  I have taken the idea of a journal from Sarah Fine who wrote a series called Guards of the Shadowlands.   This is a really good series I enjoyed and will review at a later time but if you are interested you can see some of the journal entries she created here http://guardsoftheshadowlands.tumblr.com
I used the journal idea and have started a journal as a prequel to the the dystopian novel Jake and Sarah are working on.  Let me know what you think.  Any feedback would be helpful.
Lynndee Theson  
Day Zero
It was early morning when the collapse happened.  The sun hadn’t come up yet.  I should have been sleeping in my bed in the room I shared with my older brother David.  Instead, my mom had barged into our room and blown the fog horn.  Everyone in our house knew what the fog horn meant.  Emergency Disaster Drill.  E.D.D.  My parents ran E.D.D’s at least twice a month and timed how long it took us to get from the house into the underground shelter they had designed and built after David was born.  David was 17 years old.  An E.D.D. could happen anytime, day or night.  It was to test how prepared we were for a disaster.  What disaster I didn’t know but my parents made sure our family would be survivors.  David was convinced our parents were crazy.  He was just waiting until his 18th birthday when he could leave.  David was still in bed when I grabbed my emergency pack and ran out the bedroom door.  My dad was waiting by the door to the underground shelter when I got there but unlike every other E.D.D. I could remember the stopwatch wasn’t anywhere to be seen.  Still, It wasn’t until after my parents came down sealed the door that I realized this wasn’t a drill.  As my dad was locking us in he called out “roll call”.  During role call everyone called out their name, starting with the oldest and ending with the youngest.  After a short pause my oldest sister Lily called out her name followed by me and then my twin sister Courtney, and lastly my baby sister Brooke.  The noise outside startled all of us but it was my mother's anguished cries that terrified us the most.  David wasn’t here.

3 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. My one suggestion would be to give it a faster tempo in the start to give the story a sense of urgency and then as they realize what has happened add more details to give it a sense of time slowing to add more weight to the big reveal

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    2. Thank you Ruben. That is very good advice.

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